Dougray Scott wears some tight shirts, but his face looks like a blown-up car accident. Djimon Hounsou is still looking for a role that will do him justice. Lovely.įather Lozano generally stands around mumbling prayers and looking at the camera like he’s a lost goldfish waiting for his next paycheck. And this whore mother aspect of Olivia is one of the reasons that marked her as the Antichrist. In other words, the prostitute he knocked up in an effort to “save” her (eye roll) – whatever. Her father Roger is creepily possessive of Angela, and he knocked Angela’s mother up before abandoning her, and when she dumped Angela – she was a down on her luck prostitute, remember? – Roger took Angela in.
It turns out that she’s marked by the Devil, and it’s all her whore mother’s fault, of course. Here, the Antichrist is poor Angela, who cuts herself on her birthday cake and proceeds to start drinking entire bottles of water in one go and generally staring at the camera in a “I, too, wanna be like those long-haired dead girls in those Korean horror movies!” way.
This movie tries to follow the footsteps of movies like The Omen, which is all about the coming of the Antichrist. Think about it – creepy wizened white men starting at the screen to footage of you in the bathroom or changing room, all in the name of watching for the Devil’s work to show up. The only creepy thing about The Vatican Tapes is its assertion that the Roman Catholic Church has footage of all of us doing everything… everywhere. Main cast: Olivia Taylor Dudley (Angela Holmes), Michael Peña (Father Lozano), Dougray Scott (Roger Holmes), John Patrick Amedori (Pete), Djimon Hounsou (Vicar Imani), and Peter Andersson (Cardinal Bruun)